“You are not your emotions. Your emotions don’t control your life, no matter how fierce, no matter how strong. No matter how relentless. No matter, at times, how overwhelming….

Let the emotions pass through. Feel all you need to feel.

Say all you need to say to let the storm subside.

Then pause. Wait. Rest. Let your body regroup and heal.

You will have grown. You will have changed.

And you’ll be on your way to learning something new.”

~Melody Beattie

I’ve recently gone through a situation in my life where I’ve been let down. Let down by people who I thought were different than they really are. The thing I realized is you can’t be let down if you don’t have expectations. So why do we hold expectations in our minds and hearts when all it does is set us up for disappointment? Isn’t it better to just have no expectations, hope for the best, do our best and realize that some things and people just aren’t as they appear to be? I am the type of person who works from my heart and tries to give people the benefit of the doubt. But, unfortunately not everyone is on that page. We’re all on our own journey and we learn different things at different times. I can respect that.

I typically get along with mostly everybody I cross paths with. I may be drawn to some more than others. I may not agree or vibe as much with certain people. But, for the most part I am open minded enough to respect that we’re all on different paths. Recently, in the workplace I’ve come across people(co-workers) who don’t understand respect, one person in particular, and this was challenging for me because I don’t operate that way in life in general. It brought up a lot of frustration and irritation in me. I realized those were my feelings and thought it better to process them before reacting. (As I’ve learned from Yoga and life) However, the situation continued to escalate with no help or support from the people in charge. Emotions and disrespect got out of hand until the point where I felt I was made out to be a person I am not. I realized it better to remove myself from these energies and focus back on surrounding myself with people I aspire to be like, people who have traits I admire and respect. There was disappointment surrounding this decision because I had given quite a bit to this company. I gave my very valuable time, knowledge, creativity, connections, and energy. And in return, requested nothing but respect and understanding.

I chose to move on but in that decision I found myself angry because what I’d given had been disregarded, I found myself disappointed because the people I thought I was involved with were NOT who I thought they were, I found myself frustrated because I couldn’t get them to have a very basic understanding of mutual respect.

What I learned from this is:

-It’s okay to give but give intelligently. Realize the value of what you have to offer and get compensated for it. Have enough confidence in yourself to value what you are giving.

-Don’t have expectations of people. Realize we’re all just people and no matter how great you may believe someone is, they may have serious faults that you may not want to involve yourself with. Be aware of what and who you are getting involved with.

-Don’t waste your time trying to convince people who you really are. If they don’t see you for who you really are, MOVE ON.

-Be SO clear on who you are & where you stand that when you are made out to be someone you are not it doesn’t affect you.

-When dealing with less aware, self absorbed people it’s okay to draw a line, ESPECIALLY if they are projecting their negativity & insecurity towards you by being disrespectful and domineering. It doesn’t matter if people who are less sensitive to their manipulation agree with you or not. Maybe that is okay for them. But, it doesn’t have to be okay with you.

-It’s okay to have strong emotions toward somebody or something. Don’t judge that….just ride the feelings out until they pass through.

The other thing I realized is, When we feel like the Universe is testing our strength, it’s really just being preparing us for something great. We need strength in order to step into our greatness.

Embrace your challenges!

I read the message above yesterday from my daily inspirations book, “Journey to the Heart” by Melody Beattie. A very special friend of mine gave it to me when I used to work for her. It really helped me to release judgment towards myself for feeling the way I feel. It was a reminder that it really is okay to feel angry, hurt, disappointed, or whatever the feeling may be. I am already aware of this. But, sometimes we just need to be reminded.

ALWAYS STAND STRONG & TALL IN WHO YOU ARE. Always be respectful of others, especially when they have more knowledge and experience in a particular area than you do. Appreciate what they have to share with you.

Don’t give in to something you don’t believe in. If it doesn’t resonate with your soul and what you feel to be right then move on. There are better things in store that will align with you when you become aligned with your truest self.

YOGA RESPONSIBLY means listening to your own instinct as a student. But, it also means doing your best to create a class and environment that is safe for your students based on the knowledge you have received as a Teacher. If you throw that knowledge or information out the window in order to make the class ‘harder’ or more ‘popular’ then you are compromising your students safety and eventually causing them more harm than good………

We learn as we go because there are so many things to consider. So, of course, none of us are perfect. BUT, if we’ve been made aware and have received the information that can help us and others then why wouldn’t we put it into practice? After all, that is why we came into yoga, Either to help ourselves or others, or hopefully, both.

As, I’ve recently learned through training and other more knowledgeable and experienced teachers, practicing more than 3 standing/balancing poses on one leg, in a row, could be potentially damaging to the hip joint. The average person does not have the core strength to move through so many balancing poses on one leg, one right after the other, in turn proper alignment is not even accessible. Over time this could damage a person’s hip joint.

“Today many schools of yoga are just about pushing people. You can’t believe what’s going on — teachers jumping on people, pushing and pulling and saying, ‘You should be able to do this by now.’ It has to do with their egos. My message was that ‘Asana is not a panacea or a cure-all. In fact, if you do it with ego or obsession, you’ll end up causing problems.’ A lot of people don’t like to hear that.” ~Glenn Black

Yoga is healing practice. I’ve become aware of this more and more since I’ve been teaching and just how important it really is. Yes,we can be challenged and build strength through yoga in many ways. One way is by working more of the alignment in each pose. Which seems to get overlooked. A lot of newer students (and sometimes even more experienced ones) have not yet learned to honor their body and they just want to push harder. Its something that most of us have experienced personally and seen in others. This is just our ego. Through yoga we learn to conquer the ego and cultivate more awareness. I feel as teachers it’s important to encourage this growth in ourselves and our students. I’ve also learned, as of late, that while it may be easier to please others and give into what they want it is more important, although more difficult, to do what you know is the right thing. That can be a hard lesson and one in which I’m sure will take some more practice.

Cultivate awareness of how you are acting and why you are doing the things you are choosing to do BEFORE just reacting to what you feel. None of us are perfect and there will be times we fall into reaction and emotions. But, over time and with practice we can learn to control it. We can only do this if we’re willing to see ourselves and take ownership for what we have done.

It’s important for a Yoga teacher to guide their class in a safe way, giving students OPTIONS, CHOICES and reminders to listen to their body, take breaks when needed, and follow their own inner guidance. However, it is up to each individual student to be aware of what’s behind their choices. Are you moving too quickly and pushing too hard and, if so, WHY? A large part of Yoga is Svadhyaya/Self Awareness, learning to recognize the ego when it comes up. As humans we all have ego. Through yoga we learn to slow down & in turn become more aware of the ego so we can acknowledge it when it comes up, NOT in order to judge it, because then we’ll just be replacing ego with more ego & blame. We work toward cultivating awareness in order to understand the ego….Become one with it. Learn to control the ego instead of letting the ego control you. It’s not always an easy feat. It takes lots of practice, over time, and there’s no state of perfection that is reached. It doesn’t exist as long as we’re human. Instead, it’s a constant journey of understanding and acceptance. This comes into many different areas of life. When there’s a lack of awareness in anything problems will arise. We just do the best we can wherever we’re at, in any given moment. Then, move forward to the next moment and try again.

This is something we can all relate to. I read this the other day and it really resonated with me. I tend to find myself caught up in this web of frustration of all the thoughts, options, ideas, challenges and opportunites that life presents us with. It gets to a point where I can’t even determine what is best for me anymore. I am lost in my own spinning, confusion, feelings and ideas.

I realized this frustration, this indecision, is just a reminder to slow down. It doesn’t have to be a ‘bad’ thing. Let it be a reminder that in order to listen, to really hear that voice inside ourselves, our own personal truth….. we need a moment, some time to just stop.

Let the frustration you feel move you closer toward your center, your stillness. It may be painful, scary and uncomfortable at first, but the outcome is freedom. Whatever you choose is irrelevant…..there is freedom in the choosing.