Is there something ‘wrong’ with being sad?
Recently, I posted the picture above on social media and it sparked some comments of there being ‘sadness’ in my eyes.
It has occurred to me that so often I am smiling and laughing that people tend to see me in a certain way. Which in turn has left me feeling pressured to appear a certain way. I’m over that. You know what’s depressing? Trying to live up to an unrealistic image that you, or others, have set for you.
Yeah, there’s sadness in my eyes because there has been pain in my life! And I don’t want to shrink from and hide who I am. I don’t want to give a false impression so that others feel they are the only ones.
So what. I feel sad sometimes and angry and jealous and defeated.
Being an Empath I pick up on the unspoken, what is being felt around me, VERY easily. In some ways this is fortunate and in other ways it is very challenging. As a Yoga Teacher I try to focus on positivity and growth. I do my best to find the happiness wherever I am. When I feel things I feel them DEEPLY. Whether it be Happiness or Sadness or Anger or Love I feel it to the fullest extent. ALL THE WAY.
From a young age I decided I won’t be afraid of showing what I feel. I refuse. Any time I have tried it has only manifested in my physical body as a sickness almost immediately. Suppression is NOT THE WAY. Emotions that are stuffed turn into Dis-Ease in the body. Yes, there is a time and a place for everything and others must also be taken into consideration. I prefer to be conscious of the energy I am bringing around others as often as possible. UNLESS it is for artistic expression, I HAVE NO DESIRE TO REPRESENT A FALSE IMAGE OF SOMETHING THAT DOESN’T EXIST IN THIS WORLD.
We all have sadness. You know why?? Because we’re alive!
There are hardships, pain and all kinds of suffering to be experienced as humans beings. If we aren’t experiencing it directly then we experience it through our interconnectedness. When others suffer, we suffer just the same. The pain that is going on in this world hurts me deeply. Yet, I realize that it starts with me. If there is war in countries I must focus on letting go of the war within me and the war I have with others. That’s what I can do from MY standpoint. That’s how I can make an impact in my immediate environment, and so can you.
Comparatively, I won’t deny I have lived a blessed life in MANY ways, but there is no point in comparison. In MANY ways I have suffered through much emotional pain as well. I have had nothing but strained to non-existent relationships with my father{s}. Which, has led to tumultuous and confusing love relationships and strained relationships with the opposite sex in general. I’ve experienced and witnessed physical & emotional abuse. In my short 36yrs of life I’ve already been married and divorced.
When I was a child I saw things happen to innocent children that I felt so helpless about and SO strongly about, that I haven’t ever even been able to make a decision to have children of my own. Raising children is thee single most IMPORTANT role anyone can have. And it should be taken VERY seriously.I feel as if I’ve lived a lifetime already.
I love my family with all of my heart but I grew up feeling like the black sheep, disconnected and out of place. Through hard work and a lot of adjustment I’ve come to accept that we just don’t relate in the same way and that’s okay. We don’t have bonds of similar interests, beliefs or even hobbies. Thankfully, I had a mom who loved me so hard she bent over backwards to make me feel loved and balance out many of the imbalances. She made me believe I was worth something, as if I had a chance. This was my saving grace. I’m sharing a piece of my personal story not for pity. But, more to lay out on the line the imperfections that have plagued my life just as much as anyone else.
I want to be seen for who I am in each moment and not as an image projected on to me. I have worked HARD to turn my life and attitude around and I have so much more work to do. I am not always happy and I don’t want to pretend to be. I don’t have to. Neither do you.
If you see ANYONE in this world and think, “They are always happy. They have it so easy. They are so good looking, so talented, so blessed, so….problem free”, you are lying to yourself. I think as humans we need to feel like this exists. Either to hang on to hope or to play the victim. As if the one who is always looking happy, or making money, or getting opportunities, or saying positive things must have it all figured out. They are better than us right? They are better than me. They are better than you? THAT is an illusion and it’s detrimental to YOUR HAPPINESS!
DON’T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU THINK YOU SEE!
{Especially on social media!}
There’s no benefit in holding onto this illusion of others anymore. This is what causes suffering. Nothing is perfect. WE ALL HAVE PAIN. As long as we’re alive we will never escape it. The good news is that we can STILL be happy. We can still have happiness. These emotions are not one or the other. They are one in the same.
I focus on growth and positivity as much as possible. I said, AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. That doesn’t mean ALWAYS. Sometimes, I HURT deeply. Sometimes it is memories from the past that haunt me, other times it is feeling as if I am not enough in the present moment, and yet other times I just feel pain for reasons I don’t fully understand; the hurt of the world, the pain I witness around me, the need to want to heal it all and the reality that I cannot. I used to HATE crying, showing sadness, receiving sympathy. NOW, I embrace it. I WANT to cry.
CRY! BE SAD! That means that you are releasing more pain and you are one step closer to feeling better.
ONCE YOU’VE WALKED THROUGH THE DARKNESS YOU WILL APPRECIATE THE LIGHT
Here’s my point: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING SAD. We don’t need to rush it, fix it, suppress it, or hide it. We just need to feel it, sit with it, and be in it fully WITHOUT SHAME.
You’re not the only one who feels sadness, inadequacy, incompetence, fear, less than. We ALL do. Some are just better at hiding.
You don’t have to hide. You just need to allow yourself to be HUMAN. Those of us who want growth and are on a spiritual path forget that we are also here to be human and UNTIL WE LEARN IT’S OKAY TO BE HUMAN WE WILL HAVE MISSED THE WHOLE POINT of this experience on Earth.
FEEL. BE SAD withOUT shame. Love yourself anyways.
{note: this blog is in no way intended to down play severe depression that may need outside treatment}
