How often do you notice yourself acting from old wounds instead of love?
A couple things have inspired me this week to contemplate and now share here with you. One of those things being this picture….
These past couple of years I have become extremely conscious, more so than ever before in my life, of how I act and react and when I am acting from deeply rooted wounds from the past {or maybe past lives}. This has brought me so much awareness and made it possible for me to refrain many times from reacting. Except for it’s not always so simple. Even WITH awareness your feelings, your fears and old wounds can run so deep that they get the best of you. That’s when you have to remind yourself IT IS A PRACTICE, not a perfect.
I know that what I want to do is help not harm, I love so intensely that I tend to hurt just as intensely. Can you relate??
When I share guidance or insight it is NEVER to say I know what is best for you because I am sitting in the ‘throne’ of all knowing. In actuality, it is in the process of learning for myself. Sharing the conversations and advice I would speak to my SELF when I am in need of it. If it resonates in my soul as helpful and healing and I feel inspired to do so, then I share with you so you may find the same healing IF you are in the same place and IF it is the right time for you.
I don’t care who you are there WILL be times old wounds & fears get the best of you. Even those of us who have chosen to be on the path of understanding, transformation, ‘enlightenment’. It’s not an easy path. Enlightenment isn’t as woo woo as it sounds. If you are on this path you know that you are acting courageously to shine the light on those dark places within, those places where there’s now cobwebs. Those places within where you thought the wound was healed only to find out that it was just scabbed over and someone or something rubbed up against it so fiercely that it peeled right off and began to bleed all over again. Now, what? You are in so much pain all you can do is cry, scream, kick and feel angry. “How DARE YOU open that wound! I thought this pain was gone?! Now I have to deal with it all over again? NOW I have to be reminded of this hurt and what caused it in the first place?!”
So, you react. You react from the place of hurt, the old wound you THOUGHT was healed. That’s the problem with thinking. It messes everything up. All you had to do was feel. ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS SIT WITH THE PAIN UNTIL IT FADED, cry it out until the tears were gone. But, you couldn’t. You wanted them to hurt the same way you did because you were hurt SO VERY DEEPLY.
How do you heal these wounds from the past? Can you? I believe you can.
~Allow yourself to feel all of the ugly emotions without reacting.
~Acknowledgment is key.
If you ignore these wounds they will only get infected. You may think they’re okay until someone brushes up against them and the puss explodes!
Can you love your wounds instead?
Can you find a way to acknowledge your wounds without lashing out?
Can you nurture the pain within?
Can you rub a little medicine on your wounds? The medicine of pure acceptance & forgiveness.
This has been my journey.
Some of us are more sensitive and emotional than others. Some of us have experienced much worse than others. But, we’re all the same in that we’ve ALL experienced pain. We ALL have old wounds. We can ALL benefit from the love and acceptance from ourselves.
First, we have to be okay with feeling the way that we do about something. We have to accept that it’s okay to feel angry, sad and like we don’t matter. THEN, we can remind ourselves that it’s okay to be afraid that we’re not enough. It’s okay to mess up and feel stupid. It’s okay to be imperfect. It’s okay to hurt. It’s okay to cry. And MOST of all, it is SAFE to allow healing. Often we are rooted in our pain because we feel it defines us. The ego is TERRIFIED to let it go. WHO would you be if you didn’t have your pain to define you?!
Ahhhh, the ‘Ego’. We hear so much about this. What is it? We all have ego. Frankly, I’m sick of anyone saying we need to get rid of the ego!
Trying to get rid of ego is like trying to not be human any longer. You don’t need to get rid of it.
You are here to experience it as a human being on this Earth. All you have to do is manage it. Don’t allow it to get out of hand. As with everything, work towards moderation and remember it is not who you really are. Ego is a sense of self-importance whether it is you feeling ‘less than’ or ‘more than’ instead of ‘one with’.
When you are on the path to expand your mind and consciousness, your Self then you begin to notice where you are shrinking back. As in, always being concerned with what others think of your actions or what others are doing, what they believe or how they perceive you. That isn’t authentic living. That isn’t a heart centered life. I know it can be challenging to let this go. I have realized lately just how often I don’t post something or say something only because I’m concerned with how people see me.
This week I am challenging myself and I ask you to join me. Always with regard to how you are affecting another and never with a conscious intention to harm……
CAN YOU NOTICE WHEN YOU AVOID EXPRESSING SOMETHING THAT YOUR HEART AND SOUL DESIRES ONLY BECAUSE YOU DON’T WANT TO OFFEND ANYONE WITH WHO YOU ARE OR WHAT YOU BELIEVE? Will you honor your hearts wishes and express anyways?
When you feel hurt and you sense the Ego rising up can you sit with the pain and feel your emotions instead, finding what it is they have to teach you?
When you see yourself shrinking from shining your light out of fear of being judged or that you are not good enough, Can you stop judging yourself and remember your worth?
Here is another part of my inspiration and realization of shrinking from the light. One of my most favorite poems that I just happened to hear someone share this week….
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us, it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
~ Marianne Williamson