I randomly and in my most open/broken down state, as of late, posted this to Facebook this morning:
I NEED YOUR SUPPORT.
Words that rarely to never flow from my lips… These words can be hard to hear or even look at written here. Are you the same way??
I see others post constantly that they are in need of love, positive energy, good vibes, prayers, light…..and I always think it’s wonderful, and I always take the time to stop {even if only for a brief moment} and send love and healing to the person asking.
Though, I NEVER ever ask for myself.
It crossed my mind this morning and then I thought, “no…I’m fine.”
This made me realize, this is what I always do. Repetitively. And since what I also do is QUESTION EVERYTHING, I asked myself:Is it in an effort to keep from feeling vulnerable?
An attempt to stay in a imaginary position of ‘power’?
Or is it just that I have still not gotten good at receiving?
Do I think I don’t deserve it?I give & give freely but I don’t receive freely. And as we all know, this blocks the flow. Which is the EXACT opposite of what I believe, what I teach and what I want to create.
I am grateful for this realization. As simple as it sounds, I think MANY of us are still blocking this process without even realizing it.
~I AM HERE TO RECEIVE just as much as I am here to give. In fact, there is no giving if there is no one to receive. Today, I RECEIVE.~Therefore, in an effort to break this pattern and allow myself to feel vulnerable and highly uncomfortable: I’m asking for your prayers, love & healing energy. Please send them my way.
I have been unwell all week and I feel like I could really use some support from those around me and in my community. Thank you.
~Humbly,
Jordan
Someone sent this to me from love and support today and I wanted to share it with you…
I began to write a quick comment, in response to the almost 90 comments of LOVE I received, to say thank you from the bottom of my heart. Apparently I had ALOT to say, so I figured I’d just share on my blog. Here’s my response to the love and support that I am SO GRATEFUL to have received from a beautiful community of people today:
I keep seeing the AMAZING sharing of love and support pouring out from all of you and I want to thank you each individually and comment on all of your posts specifically but I feel quite overwhelmed {in an obviously GOOD way}.
At first, I was feeling a bit emotional. Feelings of fear of judgment on how this post may be perceived by certain people, mixed with feelings of liberation and relief for stepping out of my own comfort zone, brought me to tears. Then, the comments, private messages, texts, etc kept flooding in! Supportive messages from my loved ones, friends, acquaintances, new friends, people I don’t even know or haven’t met yet……UNBELIEVABLE. Then, waves of doubt, insecurity, and embarrassment started creeping in. That’s okay. Because it’s all part of the process.
I know that I am 100x’s CLOSER to being less concerned with other’s judgments and, in turn, realizing IT’S ONLY MY OWN JUDGMENTS I NEED TO OVERCOME.
I am 100x’s closer to complete release of this irrational fear of asking for what I need, which means I’m even closer to receiving what I need!
I am 100x’s closer to being completely comfortable with feeling vulnerable and even closer to living this way consistently & courageously and THAT is where the miracles happen.
IT IS IN THE DOING.
It was allowing myself to ask… that’s what I wanted to accomplish. Because, to overcome, I felt I needed to make myself uncomfortable by doing what I felt instead of hiding in fear….only to make more excuses to myself. I know that I’m uncomfortable with vulnerability. And it felt like it was time to make changes that I haven’t allowed myself to fully make yet. Because I know that, IF WE WANT SOMETHING TO BE DIFFERENT WE MUST DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
So, to clarify and answer people’s questions that have been reaching out to ask, It’s not that life is awful or that something horrible has happened…or that I don’t have love and support in my relationship or family. It’s FAR FROM THAT. That’s not something that is required in order to truly need support, to ask for it, or to get it. That is A reason, but not the only reason and not mine.
I wanted to know what it felt like to be on the receiving end of powerful prayer and good energy in mass by willingly asking for the support and moving through the fear. I wanted to experience asking in this way because it works and I felt in need of it. I see that asking/receiving has been a block of mine. I wanted to chip away at that block. I think I chipped out a BIG chunk thanks to the love & support of my community {all of you}.
Life and the mind can have a way of making you feel broken, broken down, exhausted and lost. Sometimes you feel like you wanna just GIVE UP. Those are the times you need love. Those are the times you need support. Those are the times to receive from all the beauty and beautiful people around you. Don’t close off to all the support around you. It’s there if only you are willing to SEE and ASK.
EMBRACE ALL THE LOVE AND BLESSINGS AROUND YOU.
♥ THANK YOU ALL for giving and being a part of the growth process….Thank you for allowing me the ability to receive in this way. ♥
I hope those of you who have the same ‘imbalance’ of give and receive & the same fears, will be inspired to step forward, through them and straight into them. You are worth it.
I know now, it’s not about the ‘WHY’ I feel this way. I’ve asked WHY my whole life. It’s about the ‘WHAT’. WHAT is it that is blocking your flow? Once you know the WHAT, dissecting the WHY is not as important anymore. The WHAT is what’s holding you back! WHAT is it?!
The question is, HOW SICK ARE YOU OF LIVING ON THE SAME SIDE OF FEAR AND IN THE SAME OLD & STUCK WAYS??
DOES IT TRULY SERVE THE HIGHEST GOOD OF ALL, INCLUDING YOU?
Assess the WHAT and then move through the fear, That’s what will get you to the other side of it.